First step to help

For the past at least 5 years I've wanted to get help for my social anxiety. I lie at bed at night playing over potential conversations in my head saying tomorrow I will make the appointment. I still haven't. I just can't seem to manage to do this first step. 😔

I will have bad days then do something I am proud of myself for like making a phone call and convince myself that maybe I am okay and don't need help. Then not long after I am back down in my hole.

I just don't know what to say to get them to believe me. Or what if I'm actually not that bad and over exaggerating?

I've been so stressed the last few months with so many phone calls on my to do list I keep putting off. This is just another one to add. I wish I could just call people! I'm almost 25 how am I not a normal human yet?!