How do you deal with super opposite families?

My in-laws are the exact opposite of my family- I get a long with both just fine but on separate holidays etc- in fact, I may get a long with my in laws better than my own parents.

I have my baby shower in two weeks and my baby due in March and there both making every now and then (mostly my mom) subtle comments or complaints where you know it’ll cause friction in the future with our first child like splitting sharing time/holidays.

For example- my in laws are the only one who have offered to throw me a shower- it’s at their house and mainly their family. I am perfectly fine with this, even grateful they want to throw me a shower. My mom every week now keeps making comments like “I wish they would’ve hosted it closer to me, or earlier in January” she’s mentioned she doesn’t like that it was a Facebook invite versus real invitation...and I’ve gotten into arguments with her being like it’s their shower- they can throw it however the want.

Does anyone else have bipolar opposite families? How do you deal :/