I think I need a therapist...
So we went to visit my parents today (they live 30 mins away) and they dropped a bomb on me saying “we are gonna sell the house, get a fancy trailer and be snow birds!” (To those who don’t know that’s what us northerners tend to call ppl who move south in winter)
Essentially their idea is to use part of the funds from selling as a down payment for us to buy a house for our family. I’m an only child with four kids and a husband. No siblings to squabble with about who takes care of them when they get old.
Now my parents are in their 50s so lots of time and energy to spend before they get OLD old. And they have lots of ideas, but they tend to be fickle about those ideas. Example: Dad was going to give us his Tahoe as a wedding present then decided not to change it to our names cause we let the kids eat McDonald’s in the back.
I love my parents but I’ve never thought of them as not being at home, on the farm, where I could go and ride horses when the stress gets too much.
They were asking me to help them get rid of stuff like old cassettes, VHS, records, books and furniture. Asking me what stuff I wanted to keep. It was like wtf? Are you planning on dying soon or something cause you are freaking me out!
Then on the way home my husband and I are discussing it and he says “I don’t expect anything to come of this idea. You know your parents. I mean 2 years ago your dad told me he was talking to a divorce lawyer”
Cue me nearly slamming the brakes on ice: “WHAT????”
“Oh yea, I’ve been looking for the right time to tell you that. That was not the best time huh?”
Omg I love him I really do but you don’t say shit like that when I’m driving.
He goes on to explain how he’s noticed ever since we started dating that my parents never acted married but more like roommates. My dad confided in him that my parents hadn’t had sex since I was conceived. 26 freaking years ago!!!
All this time my parents were my rock, nothing ruined their marriage. But at the same time they were no longer in love. They stayed together out of convenience and Christianity frowns upon divorce without good reason.
They are still together but even I see the contrast between my marriage and theirs. Where my husband and I can’t keep our hands off each other my parents spend more time apart than together. They don’t sleep in the same bed.
I feel like the ground has been ripped out from under me and I hit my head on a rock. I want to cry but why cry over something that should have been so obvious?
Something that seemed so set in stone is really just a theatrical prop? Hollow? Empty.
I’m so exhausted from this and my early morning shift today but idk if I’m gonna be able to sleep. I’m so confused.