When's the right time?!?!

As

Ashley

Hi yall,

I got married in september, my hubby and i have been together for 8 years. I'm ready to start a family, but he just says not now. We would like to be in a newer home and be a lil more financially stable.

When is a good time to start trying, or to get your husband on board to start trying?

207 views • 0 upvotes • 9 comments

COMMENT (9)

Br

Posted at
Finances will honestly never be completely stable. But I do agree with getting a home first. I was house shopping while pregnant and we were suppose to get it three weeks before my due date, then it all got stalled for 3 months! But I had already packed 75% of my stuff and it was very difficult living like that, house shopping, and taking care of a newborn. We now have our house and are having our second child. It is a lot less stressful knowing that a home is in place for this one.

As

Ashley • Jun 1, 2015
ha! I think it's funny you say that. I try letting him there will never be enough money! we do have a house now but we want to move into the country!

Li

Posted at
I don't think there's ever an actual good time, because there's always going to be something getting in the way in some fashion. But there definitely is a right time, and that's when both people feel ready. For some people it's not until every loose end is tied up. For some it's not until a few bigger "must do's" are completed. For others it might be a generic X years, with no list of things to do (X years to enjoy being newlyweds, or to enjoy the new house, or whatever). Honestly, you just need to ask him what's holding him back,and then work together to complete any goals that he wants to accomplish first. I mean, eventually people hit an age limit and it turns into "now or never, doesn't matter what's left undone, we will either make it work with what we have, or abandon the idea of kids." It's better to just talk about everything sooner rather than later so that everyone is on the same page as far as goals, age limits, and so on. You can't push him into kids before he's ready, but if you can find out his hangups, you can help goals get hit sooner so that he's ready sooner. But if it's emotional hangups, then he's likely just going to come around at his own pace.

Je

Posted at
Honestly, there never really can be a right time to have kids. My husband is still in school but is on an internship right now and I work full time. But we know we want to have kids young so we have decided to start right away because whatever happens happens and we will make it work. 

Co

Posted at
We were married in September also. After we got engaged we talked about waiting five years to start a family. As our wedding got closer we both decided we wanted to start sooner. I had my IUD removed the first week of May. We live in a small house, but we definitely have room for a little one. Our goal is to move to some place with more land within the next 3 years. I don't think that waiting until then is important seeing as we have more disposable income now than we will when we are in a bigger house. My husband has never thought that financial timing is very impotant for children. He says a baby will become our first priority and whatever sacrifices are neccesarry will be made. How old are you? If it's very important to you, could you come up with some ways to save money for a baby to show him that you would be commited to cutting expenses in other places? Wishing the best for you! 

Co

Courtney • Jun 1, 2015
I'm turning 28 next month. Our timelines are so similar!

As

Ashley • Jun 1, 2015
I'm 28, so still young! I like to tell him, we will have babies when it is ment to happen!

As

Posted at
We want a family, but I really think he is just scarred of the unknown!

Ta

Posted at
That depends on the couple... My husband and I got married in September as well, and had been together 6 years at that point in time. And we have decided on right away. It took a few months but we're due this September. We were ready emotionally and as a couple a few years before our marriage. There was a lot of different reasons we chose to do now. I think a lot of people would disagree with our choice because we're in an apartment still, he's just getting situated in a job (was applying when we got married) and a handful of other things. This unfortunately isn't something I think you'll be finding good answers for on here. But I hope he comes around :)