Such a long story 🤦🏻‍♀️

So.. the only time my son sees his dad anymore is when I go to visit him, because “he doesn’t feel comfortable coming over anymore”. So I went over there on Saturday after work, I was exhausted.. I let them know ahead of time that I was only able to stay for a couple hours. So, on the way back home my ex starts SCREAMING at me talking about “YOU CANT FUCKING SNAPCHAT SOME GUY WHILE YOUR AT MY FUCKING HOUSE AND IM TRYING TO SPEND TIME WITH MY SON”. I’m all confused now, and just kind of baffled? I asked him if he was serious and he just went off. So I told him first of all.. maybe if you asked who I was snap chatting you wouldn’t look like such a fool (my guy friend I’ve been friends with since I was 14) second what does who IM talking to have anything to do with you spending time with your son? Third, we broke up.. we’ve been broken up so it’s not any of your business who I’m talking to. So then he wants to call me names, calling me a hypocrite because I got mad at him for talking to a girl (texting his ex, right after we had sex, laying in bed together when we were still together) which was a different scenario. So then he wants to start screaming about “all you and your mom do is sit there talking shit about me” at this point I’m so fed up with this hour drive of being screamed at, so I broke down crying and my final words to him were.. “I’m 21 years old, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, and I’m raising him by myself”. I completely lost it and the water works started.

I’m working a part time job at PetSmart, getting minimum wage, and fully supporting my son.

He has a college degree, works a full time job, making $12, gave me $30 in November for some formula and diapers and that’s that.

So now he “wants to kill him self” for the 3rd time since my 6 month old son has been born.

Because I’m afraid he’ll actually do something, I’m here apologizing for nothing, trying to tell him he’s not a POS blah blah blah. I feel the exact opposite but because I don’t want my son growing up without a dad, I sit here looking stupid forgiving him for acting like a total psychopath. At this point I don’t even know what to do anymore.. I’m just over it.