I feel like I’m being ungrateful for better but I don’t really feel better

i always think back to when i was 15 and my parents would argue really bad and fight every night and all days on the weekend. Then I think damn but i would kill to be back in that situation with 2 parents well alive and in my hometown sharing a twin size bed in the same room as my 12 year old brother that’s not even half the size of my small room rn but thats all I’ve known . But then i think wow I’m in a “better state” with “less violence” and “more opportunities”. But what does it matter when opportunities are not coming my way and I’m not having much luck with anything. Its almost been 2 years since my dad died and 1 and a half years since i got completely moved to another state to have a completely different life. The move was supposed to help but I’ve been doing worser than ever