Bad Daddy Dom

Ugh, alright this is more of a vent than anything else. I have a boyfriend and sometime early in our relationship he asked me what my kinks were. Of course I mention my bondage kink and that I kinda like doing thins in public but yknow without getting caught but I got caught uo because I couldn't tell him my ddlg kink. I was a bit afraid he wouldn't like it but he persisted so I told him. Welp he asked me about it but I didn't know how to explain, told him it wasn't only sexual but a lifestyle choice instead. I don't think he ever quite got it and I always had too much anxiety to explain it all, I don't know what it's like from the Daddy side I didn't know what to tell him and I just got more and more embarrassed. I'm NOT good at talking about myself, my wants, needs, feelings or anything general about myself. It is a no go. Anyway a few months down the line... and honestly we haven't talked about it in a while. He's not Really a Daddy which is fine... but he had gotten really use to me calling him that and I don't know if I really want to anymore. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my boyfriend, he is my everything. Just lately I've been craving all of the DDLG stuff that I've been missing and I'm trying to find a way to cope. Really it's not his fault for his lack of understanding, but I don't really think he could handle the full responsibility with being a Daddy Dom anyway... :/