Is it possible?

Question

Hello everyone, I have been with my husband for 6 years and he has one daughter living with us. My relationship with my  13rd years old stepdaughter is not great. For the 6 months she is slammed the toilet seat cover every time she used the toilet. It woke me up every morning because it's so loud. Me and my husband have talked to her about it and every time she said she forget. Is it possible that she forgets littly every time or is she do it on purpose to upsetting me. Please help I'm so frustrated n in so much stress and angry. If this keeps going I think I have to move out. I can't take this anymore I love my husband with all my heart but is LOVE enough to get me thru this with his daughter? Thank you for reading.

Answer

Dude, I get you’re mad and how frustrating it can be. My stepkids are 19 and 16- one of each. The 19 year old forgets to close the cover to our breaker box when we blow a fuse (its a relatively old house so it happens semi frequently). Our cats’ food bowls are right under it and I’ve hit my head on that damn cover so many times and we’ve talked to him so many times and it makes me furious. About a month ago I told my husband and stepson both that if it happened again I was taking it off it’s hinges and leaving it for them to put back up and figure out. About 2 weeks ago, hit my head off the dam cover again. Took the cover off it’s hinges and left it on the kitchen table. It’s yet to go back up and I really don’t care if it ever does again. Because I made my point and my step kid got the point. 
She’s only 13, I promise it will get so much worse before it gets better. When the youngest was 13 I totally had battles just like this one, it seemed important to “stand my ground” and “make my point”. But wanna know what I learned? To pick my battles. Otherwise you’re just the nitpicky bitch if a stepmom the kid can’t stand. In the long run all it’s gonna do it cause more issues between you and her, you and your husband and your husband and his daughter. Find a solution- take the toilet seat off all together or just get a padded seat from Walmart and for like $10 your entire problem is solved. And if you really wanna make a point- tell your husband she has to pay you back for the seat through extra chores around the house or something. Small problems have small solutions. My youngest stepkid has put my family through hell and then some, and after everything- at the end of the day if you know they’re safe(wherever they are at the time) and if they’re healthy are going to be your only 2 concerns most of the time. Sure, you have grades and attitudes and hormones and dating and friends and the basic dramas that come with a teenager- but you have to weigh out what’s going to impact the long run vs what’s the annoying thing at hand. 
Get creative, have fun with it. I can’t punish my stepkids, that’s a line we both drew upfront because I feel like that’s not my place. Wanna know what I can do though? Match the attitude they give me. We survived the teenage years- we can out tude the many day! We have better comebacks and can stand our ground easier because we’ve heard all the teenage bullshit before. And I give them options “so are you cleaning the litter box before or after you do homework? We can still watch Greys together after they’re both done tonight as long as it’s not too late, though.” “Yeah you can totally take that DVD to your moms this weekend, all the dishes have to be done before she picks you up, though. And PLEASE remember to bring it home on Sunday!” “I’m fine with your friend staying over, but first, how’d that geometry test go? Because you’re so close to a Passing grade and you need to be making time for that first.” 
Easy as hell once you start thinking outside the box, promise. Plus it’s funny because half the time I get them to do whatever their dads been nagging them to do (for days) on the first shot AND I’m still not the bad guy. 
Sorry I know its lengthy. I hope this helps, though!

Is it possible?

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