Feeling discouraged this month 😔

I know it's still early, but the way I am feeling now is such a contrast to how I was feeling last month. Last month I had such high hopes that it was finally our month. It was also my first round of Clomid and I had three good sized follicles. We timed jntercourse following doctor instructions and I thought all was going to turn out great, despite having the biggest follicle on my bad side. However, it was not meant to be and the same day I got a BFN, AF showed.

Now thus moth I just feel like the odds are stacked up against us. First of, my husband had a fistula surgery the day after my period came. While it was perfect timing since we do t have sex while I am on my period, that only gave him one week of rest. He has been cleared to have sex if he feels up to it, but I am not sure how much he will be able to handle, and my fertile window starts on Friday. On top of that I got acute tonsillitis that required two rounds of antibiotics (the first round was short after I explained we were TTC) and the doctor also prescribe prednisolone and cataflam with the antibiotics. I am afraid that those medications are gonna mess us up this cycle, especially in regards to my lining, since I know the cataflam can affect that. And to top it all off, my Preseed order isn't here yet, so it looks like I will miss out getting to use it again this cycle 😡.

It almost makes me want to cancel the ultrasound and trigger shot with such slim odds this month. I'm starting to feel like this is not meant to happen for us without additional help that we can't afford at the moment and it's driving me crazy because I want this more than anything. 😭