How to get your man to be home more????

Question

How do you get your husband to put in as much effort at home as he does work? No matter how much I’ve complained he doesn’t listen. I’m starting to feel like he could careless about me or his kids. I don’t want a divorce because I love him and wouldn’t want to waste our 7 years together.
UPDATE ****
I’ve tried everything I’ve told him multiple times how much I need him here. He is on salary and claims that’s why he works so much.

Answer

My man comes home as often as possible and as soon as possible because we both have high sex drives and we communicate often when he's out of the house 🔥. The need to be near each other is strong for both of us, regardless of if we're being intimate or not, sprinkle a hint of ridiculous jealousy on top of that and you have yourself the recipe for getting your man to come home. He also doesn't want to feel like he's being left out of anything as far as activities I am doing with the kids or even cleaning of the house, walking the dogs etc. 🙄 Perhaps it's because he came from a loveless marriage and is a little bit broken and a little bit obsessed. I came from a loveless marriage too so I love every single minute of this 😍 I would hate it if he didn't want to be here with me, I did a decade of that and I will not do it again. Some men aren't capable of loving us the way we need and want to be loved and it certainly doesn't mean they don't love us but sometimes it's just not enough as it was in my case. I filed for divorce and two years later I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life with someone who loves me the way I deserve to be loved.

Answer

Stop doing all the work ! Worked for us

Answer

Instead of complaining to him, tell him exactly what you want. if you just tell him he doesn't do enough at home with you and the kids, he'll just hear you naghing, but if you take tome to tell him specific things you want help with or specific times you want him home, it helps. my sister and BIL are close to getting a divorce because all they do is nag and yell instead of taking time to talk about their issues. I have even tried to get them to start a routine of regularly writing things down that upset them about eachother and every week read eachothers letters and actually try to understand what the other is wanting/needing. my fiance and I have both been married before and we don't want to make the same mistakes as in our previous marriages so we talk yo eachother about EVERYTHING that bothers us. we take time to actually listen to eachother as well, not just nag and fight. That's just my way of doing things. hope you are able to find the correct form of communication to help him understand what you need and want from him

Answer

Well...the complaints will make him want to be home less. Basically guys are primal. Does food, comfort or pleasure await him at home? Yes? Then usually they make time & come running! Try sexting during the day, back massage, watch the game with him or let him know you made a favorite meal of his or something.
If money is the issue and you have any spare time, try bringing in extra cash from home so he doesn’t have to work so much. 
Just some ideas. 👍🏻

Answer

when your on salary ...it doesn't matter how little  or how much you are there you get paid the same so that's just a lie

Answer

Maybe you need to adjust your expectations, at least for the short term. And if complaining isn’t working, maybe it is time to try something different. When Tom and I struggle with balamce in the house I talk about it, but I don’t nag. I ask him to tell me how he is going, what’s happening for him so that I can try and figure out where we can both reasonably support one another. I don’t ever expect that he will be able to put in as much at home than he does at work because for Tom, I know that that’s just not possible. He has a couple of chores, that I do remind him to do a few times a week (rubbish every few days, cooking one night, moving heavy things for me). Then there is lots of things he says he will do and doesn’t - I always say “I don’t ask you for much Babe. I really need you to do this tonight ( cook dinner once a week or hang out his work clothes once a week, whatever it might be)”.  I love my Tom, I accept that he will never contribute 50/50 to the house, the most I will ever get is probably about 20/80 and that is okay because in terms of an emotional support and companion Tom is the greatest man I know. When there are times I need more from him I am really clear about that - “The next few weeks I have a lot on with Rin (daughter), work, the baby (I’m due Wed) and I really need your help. When I ask you to do something I need you to do it that day, not tomorrow, not on the weekend. I don’t ask for much, but for the next week I need you to step it up.” It works for us. ☺️
None of what I have said may be helpful for you because we all have such different relationships and needs so I totally get if you just read this and think “Fuck that silly cow. She doesn’t know what she’s on about” 😂

Answer

Stop doing all the work, stop complaining. It's amazing how quickly they then start pulling their weight.
Please don't misunderstand... I'm not saying you're wrong for complaining, because you're not. He should be pulling his weight. BUT when a woman starts complaining a man switches off, not a great deal sinks in of what the woman is saying. Silence about the whole deal however, is far more powerful. 
It will ONLY work if you also stop doing everything at the same time as stopping complaining.

Answer

Talk to him more about why he feels like he needs to spend so many hours at work. If he came home sooner, what would happen? Is he worried that he'll miss the next promotion or that he might get a poor review from his boss? Reassure him that you care more about your time with him than how much money he makes. Tell him you'd rather see him every night than have a few extra dollars to spend. You could also compromise and ask him to let you know when he's working on a big project or is against a non-negotiable deadline. He is free to work as late as he needs, but in return, he'll make up that time in the future and come home early.

Answer

I personally think it has to be in him.

Answer

Put him on salary or find another job. Since my husband has been on salary he doesn’t even go to work anymore nor is he interested in going. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤞

How to get your man to be home more????

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