After a second trimester loss at 13 weeks 4 days, I was devastated
After a second trimester loss at 13 weeks 4 days, I was devastated. So many dreams and plans ripped away in an instant. I am forever grateful to my husband and our doctors for the care they took of me during such a traumatic experience. The nurses at the office even said that my husband was one of the most supportive that they had ever seen.
After that experience, we listened to our doctors and took three cycles off. I got my first period six weeks after our miscarriage. I was shocked that my body had ovulated so quickly and that it has returned. My next period came a little more than a month later, but I was experiencing breakthrough bleeding, which if you’ve never experienced that with ovulation, freaks you out a little. I was stressed about what that would mean if we tried to conceive again. Could we conceive if I was bleeding? How would that effect my ovulation or when we had to try?
In November, we decided to ditch the birth control. I also didn’t track anything. I didn’t want to stress about when I was ovulating because we didn’t know if it would be right with the breakthrough bleeding. That first month, I wasn’t expecting anything. My period came just in time for Christmas.
This Christmas had to be one of the worst in my life. I should have been 7 months pregnant, glowing with a baby bump, but instead, I had to watch my sister-in-law do all of those things instead. We found out we were due a week apart, but she got to keep hers. I was happy for her, but so very sad for me. I suffered a lot in silence, and it made for a difficult holiday season.
January came, and my period was late. We were trying, but in the loosest sense of the word. We didn’t track anything, and we just tried to enjoy ourselves. Like I said, I was late. I didn’t want the emotional letdown of a negative pregnancy test, so I told my husband I wasn’t going to take one. I couldn’t shake it though. I took one the next evening, and I stared at it with wide eyes as that little blue plus sign appeared. I couldn’t believe it. We were pregnant again.
I went to the doctor for the following week for bloodwork. pregnancy confirmed and hormone levels rising. I was five weeks when we found out. That seems like an eternity to get to the end. 35 weeks to go. Now we are in week 8, and I go to the doctor this week. I have been suffering from horrible nausea, mood swings, and fatigue, but any and all symptoms are welcome if I get to hold my rainbow baby in September. Nothing could ever replace the baby that I lost, but this baby will be worth every minute of the wait when they get here.
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