Dear mom

I’m not sure how I’ve made it this long. I miss u so much. I pick up the phone and want to call u and remember I can’t. It hurts so much. And most of what I had to remember u I lost. U told her to take care of me and to make sure I didn’t lose my things. She half ass tried but I lost a lot. And it makes me sad that I don’t have some of the things that remind me of u. They r just things and I will never forget u. I wanted to call u when I got pregnant and even more when I lost the baby. My only comfort was that maybe my baby was with u now and u two can take care of each other. It’s a hard lonely world without u in it. I wasn’t prepared for this. It makes the struggle I already had harder. Just feels like everything is falling apart. It’s not easy for any of ur kids. The brother I was once so close to wants nothing to do with me. He’s falling apart more every day since u been gone. I hope ur at rest and in no pain wherever u r. I hope u know how much I love n miss u.