Long post alert -

Not sure where to even start...

I was abused by my step dad from the age of 8+ up until I was a teenager. This happened 5-6 nights per week.

Started happening to my sister too. He would tell my mum he heard something and come look out the bedroom window.

At 16-17 I finally spoke out and my mum cried and held her hands over her ears. My aunt was there at the time and told me to collect my stuff and I could stay the night at hers. I went to get my clothes and make up bag etc. The rest is a blue until the next day where I was taken to my nans. My aunt and nan stood above me telling me if I didn’t stop lying they would punch me. My uncle and his girlfriend walk in and I beg him to listen and believe me! He walks passed telling me they are not getting involved. I stay at a friends for a few nights and he takes me to the council to find somewhere to stay. I explained why I had nowhere to live and was told that if I go through with saying this my siblings would be taken away. That made me panic. I didn’t want them to be taken into care. I went to speak to my mum and she told me it would all go away if I just say I had false memory syndrome. I didn’t know what to do so agreed.

I carried on as much as I could but spent a lot of time out of the house. This got me into a lot of debt that I’m still in to this day! I was made to think I had mental issues and always felt I was being watch when I was in the bathroom and then noticed this was also happening when my sister was showering etc. Turns out he had been watching us! Years went by and I had a miscarriage from my very controlling boyfriend! This just made me snap! I ended my 6 year relationship and spoke out about the abuse again (my step dad cheated for the 8th time in their marriage at this point and left) my mum went on about if only she had sex with him more blah blah. I told her everything and she wasn’t shocked and said she felt I wasn’t lying! My sister then came forward too. But yet once again I was told to not say anything or go to the police coz of how it would look and I need to think about how it would effect everyone else!

Again stupidity I listened! I then met my fiancé, we moved in together and I fell pregnant unexpectedly. We now have a beautiful daughter. As my pregnancy went on I felt stronger to go to the police as I felt the need to protect my daughter and anyone else’s! With my partner and daughter I had the support I needed. So I went to the station. It’s now going through to court. He keeps denying it. I don’t speak to any of my family now really. Just my sister occasionally. But I have my own family now! I tried recently with my mum but she won’t accept any responsibility for her part. I don’t really know why I’m writing this other than just to get it out of my head.