depression issues?

I know I have depression. I know... but one question. does anyone else ever just start to either hate yourself, or even just get upset with yourself? like... with me, there is a certain thing I have just been trying to let go and not think on or ponder on or be upset over. to just push it back and let it go... but I can't. it's always there. it bothers me. I can't stop thinking about it. I still have so many questions about it... and it hurts and upsets my s/o that I can't just let it go.... but no matter what I do I just can't and everyone something happens involving it or I am reminded of it... I just get so upset and angry and hurt and sad, and then I get even more upset and angry towards myself that I feel that way.... I try to talk to my s/o about it... coz maybe if we talk about it more... maybe it just won't hurt so bad.... but he always just gets upset and sometimes even mad and I don't know what to do...