Am I overreacting???

Question

So about 2 months into our relationship his "friend" sent him a picture of her in her bra with the excuse that she wanted to show him her costume for a party...I thought it was a but inappropriate considering they have been intimate before. Well no they're just "friends". I asked him to to let her know to plz respect our relationship and he apparently did. Well it happened again (she takes many inappropriate pictures over social media) so I told him how uncomfortable I was and asked him to please just delete her off it. Well now he's fighting to keep her as a friend (the two incidents happened a few months ago). Since then we haven't been the best the last month or so and I told him that until we are in a better place I would like her to stay out of his life....we both want to work things out before our baby girl arrives in about 5 months.  He says I am being controlling and that's how it all starts because I'll start off with one person then continue with more as time goes on. I disagree. Am I overreacting??? Or is he just not understanding me??

Please help!!!!!!

Answer

You're probably not overreacting. From what you said, you're not overreacting at all!

If this is truly all of the story, then I believe there is more there than he's leading you to believe. I highly doubt any girl would send a guy more pictures after he "told her not to interfere with the relationship/send pictures again". He didn't tell her then, just like he's not deleting her now.

If he's saying he wants to "be a family" with you & your child with him, he's lying to you & possibly himself too. He doesn't appear to be ready now, judging by his actions. Actions speak louder than words. Plus, his words are speaking loud enough as it is.

When he says they'll be more in the future if he deletes her, he's just coming up with an excuse to make you feel like it's your fault & that you're crazy, jealous &/or too controlling/clingy. This is all so he can continue his behavior. If you go along with this & say/act as if it's okay now, he would also now have an excuse (& way he knows to make you feel at fault) if he wants to do the same with someone else in the future. Good luck! Congrats on your baby!

Answer

Maybe you are over reacting, maybe you aren't. I had a similar situation go on when my husband & I first started dating. I told him how uncomfortable I was with their "friendship" & he felt like I was just over reacting, being jealous, & controlling. He told the girl about the way I felt about their communications, and she actually contacted me & agreed to end their communication. Now, 8 years later, the speak occasionally but not like they did back then & it's ok. Good luck!!

Answer

He should delete her sounds like she's a home wrecker and why is he friends with his ex? Smh it's not OK for her to send pics and after the fact he told her to respect your relationship and still sends pics I'd be flipping out that's not right.

Answer

You aren't overreacting if this is the complete story, but he should respect you and his child enough to delete her. She is trying and succeeding to come between you. Sounds like he doesn't really want to delete her because there is more going on than just friends.

Answer

Woof. Touchy situation. Many flashbacks to one particular ex.

I would say that this girl needs to back the f*** off completely. As in no contact. Your man is disrespecting your concerns. I hate to give anyone an ultimatum, but if your situation is anything like mine, then you should give him one. You're carrying his child, for goodness sake.

The fact that this woman's existence in your SO's life is stressing you out, makes her an unhealthy existence in you guys' relationship.

Answer

He is trying to find an excuse for his wrong doings. I think he should delete her but he is trying to say after one there comes another and another... Not true... He just doesn't want her deleted... They have some kind of connection

Answer

He should respect ur feelings about the situation. The fact that he isnt even willing to try and compromise with you, he just says basically ur trying to control him is concerning. Sounds like he wants to keep her around for the wrong reasons

Answer

I am still friends with a few of my exes who're in relationships, and my best friend (we've never been intimate) is male and in a relationship. I do everything I can to respect their relationships and SOs. I would never ever send pictures like that. Doesn't sound like you're overreacting. If he respected your feelings, he wouldn't have a problem with keeping this girl out. Shady.

Answer

Not overreacting, and that's coming from a girl whose husband is friends with a couple of his ex's. I'm friends with a couple of mine too. Good people, just not the ones for us. WE are right for each other, and we both know that. We also both respect our relationship enough that if ANYONE tried to do to us what that girl is doing to you and your SO, they'd be gone from our life. And yes, I say our life, not lives, because we have one life together, and no one has a right to cause turmoil in our life. If anyone sent either of us an inappropriate picture, we'd tell the other and tell the third party that they weren't welcome in our life anymore. If your SO wants a life with you, then he needs to get rid of negative influences. If he truly thinks that you're going to continue asking him to cut females from his life,  until you're the only one he's allowed to talk to, then I don't understand why he still wants to be with you anyway? If he truly thinks that way of you, why hasn't he left? Therefore, I don't believe he really feels that way. It's just an excuse.

Answer

Mmm no why does he have a "friend" you used to fuck oh hell no nope he just bull shitting you and she is doing this on purpose

Am I overreacting???

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