Feeling Guilty & Anxious

I don’t know how to put this but last October I had a miscarriage...when I found out I was pregnant in August my emotions and moods were just off. I didn’t feel ready, I stopped taking the pill in July and thought it would take longer to get pregnant and I was hoping the baby weight would be gone before I expect another one (my daughter will be 2 in April,

sadly I still haven’t lost that extra 15).

My sister in-law had a miscarriage herself the month before I had mine. My husband and I decided we would wait until the first of the year to try again. In December I found out my sister in-law is expecting, I hate that I have feelings of jealously and have guilts for feeling that way, don’t get me wrong I am super excited for my Brother....it is their first. I now experience feelings of guilt that I felt I wasn’t ready in August and feel like my chance to have another one might have been missed, I just turned 35 and my husband will be 40 in August. My fertility window starts today and the nerves are getting the best of me, I went from feeling I wasn’t ready to wanting it to happen so bad.

We are giving it (1) year to try and conceive. I was actually shocked my husband agreed to that considering he always said no more kids after 40. I am not one to post but I felt if I got my guilty feelings and anxiousness off my chest maybe I would receive positive vibes.

I feel so stupid thinking so negatively consider I have a healthy 10 year old girl and a healthy 2 year old girl. Thanks for letting me vent!