A little something

So this is a poem I wrote about my relationship between my best friend and I. Everyone says you should always date your best friend, but this was different. And, it actually tore us apart. I'm not saying you shouldn't but in my case, it wasn't the best thing. Anyway, I hope you guys take something from it.

"I dont know why I’m writing about you again,

maybe because I still think of the days when we were more than friends

when we both decided to dive in and disregard the consequences that would’ve came with it

We were two naive lovers that thought what the meaning of love was

but thinking about it now, we never really knew.

My emotions were taken for granted

and your capacity to love, I took for granted

We both thought we were capable of something we never were to begin with

We both knew what we were getting into

but we still chose to forget what we had

for maybe.. something better.

We gambled, we loss.

We played the game, now everything’s lost.

Was it really better?

I walk pass you now, as if we’re strangers again. Forgetting all those late night conversations, being vulnerable to each other and opening our wounds

just for us to heal together. We were both naked in this emotional bond, we were naked with raw emotions.

Now, you’re mean to be no one to me.

Sometimes, I admit, I miss you in times that I shouldn’t.

I miss you when I hear your jokes from behind me

I miss you when you share banter with someone else

knowing that you once was the reason I laughed to tears

Hell, you even still manage to make me laugh without any conversation

Sometimes I hate love.

I hate how it brings people together but also tears them apart.

I hate that we can’t restore what once was.

I hate that I am forced to forget about all the things that were said, the music that we shared, the funny moments we had together.

But then, i hate how we used to be.

I hate the constant fighting, the miscommunication, the deception, lies.

I hate feeling manipulated, I hate feeling helpless in a situation where I always felt fucking stuck.

Its a bipolar feeling.

It’s like I want you to be in my life again, but I don’t want anything negative that comes with it.

Then, I think of the saying: ‘If you can’t love me at my worst, then you don’t deserve my best’

Then, I stop.

I stop reminiscing.

I stop wishing.

I stop hoping.

Because I remember that we both deserve better.