Siblings think I’m a bad parent

I just had a my LO a week and a half ago (FTM) and I’m already getting feedback about my parenting skills from my brother and sister.

Background: I’m the oldest of three children and I’m the “weird, wacky, irresponsible” one. I dropped out of multiple colleges, have anxiety disorder and major depression, went through bankruptcy, used to be a bit of a lush and I got around. I’m in my early thirties and despite all the previous hijinks I went through, my life has turned out pretty sweet. I’ve been married for three years (after 5 years of dating) to my husband, I got the chance to be a kidney donor, I have a nice two bedroom apartment, travel a lot, and I’m a manager at a large company and have 200+ people working under me. Despite all this, I still get the feeling that my siblings still think I’m a bit ‘special’.

I had a very difficult pregnancy with multiple hospitalizations and I was induced three weeks early due to pre-eclampsia. After I delivered I was able to resume taking Seroquel for my anxiety disorder (after a discussion with my doctor regarding effects it may have on my daughter). I’m concerned about making sure my mental health stays in tip top shape as I’m at increased risk for postpartum depression, as I already have anxiety disorder/depression. My brother decided to express his concern that he wasn’t sure about the long term effects of the medication on my daughter (transferred via breast milk). He apparently asked a psychiatrist at his work and he informed me that this psychiatrist he works with recommends something else and that it’d be safer for the baby. My brother is a social worker, not a doctor. The hospital that my obstetrician is at is ranked third in the country for obstetrics and gynecology. Does he think I’m making these medical decisions on a whim without consulting my doctors? He got any first hand experience with GAD or postpartum depression? Nope.

Then yesterday, husband and I decided to take our daughter to the zoo. I want to lose some of this weight and learn to go out with baby. We had a nurse from the hospital visit us at home the day after we got discharged. She told us to not get stuck at home, to go out, as long as it wasn’t to crowded places. I thought the zoo was a perfect fit. Sure it was cold outside, but we didn’t buy her a coat, hat, gloves, winter car seat cover etc just to not use them. We walked for a total of one hour. Baby was all covered up (see pictures); we checked on her lots and she was staying warm. That night, my brother, sister and mum were on a conference call for ONE HOUR, with brother and sister expressing concern to my mom about my daughter’s well being. My mum came over today and told us about it (they also think she’s flaky). My brother told her that it was time for mum to ‘parent’ me about being a responsible parent. They’re also concerned that my mum and dad are coming over to my house too much. My babe is ten days old; mum has visited once and babysat once (for three hours), and my dad babysat once (for two hours). I don’t think five hours being away from baby to run errands/grocery shop is too crazy. Plus, baby is the first grandchild; my parents are obsessed with her and love coming to visit us. My mum thinks they’re both ridiculous and she’s been in a similar position of being ‘looked down on’ by those two.

What really gets me about their judgmental-ness is that neither of them have kids. Neither of them have been to any one of my dozens of doctors appointments/hospitalizations. It just grinds me; you would think that two people who ‘have it all together’ would be smart enough to know to keep their opinions to themselves and that the doctor providing medical care for their niece knows way more about what’s best for her than they do.

Just needed to rant. Thanks mums.

Bundled up and ready to see some camels and elk at the zoo.

In her car seat with daddy. Notice the gray winter car seat cover, fuzzy blanket, and Dalmatian hat?

Also notice the two canopies that fold together to block any wind?