A Day Full of Temptation Rant

I've been trying to do good in my faith. Giving it all to God and not giving in to my anger etc.

I have Really Really bad anger issues, I can be very vengeful, sadistic, ultimately as petty as someone can get. I suck at forgiving, have a tender bitter heart. Trust issues to the max, Always on defense mode..

Well I've been attending church regularly every sunday, reading my bible every morning, praying more than usually.. I want to change.

I don't wanna be the hateful person I've been anymore 😟

Well yesterday we just got great news throughout the day.

¬After 16 months of ttc got our positive. ¬Hubbys credit is great so we can get approved for our own home soon, to own.

WELL today 😑 I started bleeding, and well went in an was told my test is negative. too retest next week? So I cried and cried, asked God why when I spoke this into existence, When I prayed day in and day out for our blessing and it got taken from us.

Than our slumlords want me and my son gone since we ain't on the lease (I get it) but I became furious and wanted to retaliate!

Than got more news from my sons Dr that just wasn't the best but soaked that in.

I just felt like today I was tempted so bad. I texted my husband asking him to pray for me because I felt like going off on the deep end and just not wanting to care whatsoever. Wanted to drink (which I rarely ever do) and show up announced to our slumlord house ready. to show how crappy my day was and to take it out on them...

& My husband kept positive and

prayed for me.

I'm now laying in bed, glad I didn't give in to my anger like I usually do 😏