The uncle from out of town

When i was 13 my mother died, and while family was in town for her funeral i was molested by my GRANDMOTHERS BROTHER (he doesn’t live in the country and before this moment i had never met him before) I was so young that i didn’t know what to do, I didn’t tell anyone until I was engaged to my now husband, and now i struggle with sex in any aspect. I’ve had meltdowns before and after sex, where i cry uncontrollably and/or can’t even stand to be touched.

This uncle came back into the country to visit for a family function, a couple months back and i couldn’t even stand to be near him, let alone look at him. Later that night i fell apart. It’s been 8 years and it still kills me. No one in my family knows and i couldn’t bear to tell them. I’m too embarrassed, not that it’s my fault.

But...

Is there any advice of how to cope? Be comfortable with sex?

I love my husband and some days I’m fine, but other days i don’t know how to live or love myself or let him love me.