Advice? Long

Okay so it's a bit of a story. For background, I will be 19 on Wednesday and my boyfriend has been 19 since January. We are freshmen in college and are honor students and both have full time jobs and live with our parents.

Well, back in November, we were going on dates mostly on Sundays because that's the only day I am guaranteed to get off early and the only day my boyfriend is guaranteed off completely. So Sundays were date days. We had been doing Sunday date days/nights since early July. Well, that one day in November, my boyfriend's step mom went off on him for being out past 9:00 on a Sunday. No warning. Nothing was said about him being home by 9:00 on Sundays prior to then. We both asked her why 9:00 and she said "Because you shouldn't be out so late on Sundays. Save those dates for Fridays and Saturdays."

Umm..sometimes my boyfriend works until midnight on Fridays and Saturdays and I personally do not want to be out so late and neither does he. So of course we were both upset and mad and confused but we worked around it (his dad didn't say anything and didn't take sides btw).

Well, a couple weeks ago THEY (step mom and dad BOTH) told my boyfriend that he didn't need to ask to go on dates anymore (unless he had something planned with family) as long as he was back before midnight on our date days/nights. Okay that's great they trust us!

Well we hadn't gone out on a Sunday since before then because I had gone on a trip and he babysat his step siblings a few Sundays in a row. Well, we both ended up with yesterday (Sunday) off and decided to go out. We went shopping and decided to see Red Sparrow at 6:30 before eating. We thought it would be over around 8:00, but it didn't end until after 9!

Well around 9 his dad texted him and asked when he would be home and my boyfriend said that the movie just ended and that we were going to eat and then he'd be home. His dad texted him that was okay. Well, we went to eat and then he drove me home. Then he went home and got back at about 10:30.

WELL my boyfriend has to go home right after classes to get his step siblings off the bus (they're 11 and 6) and so he goes home and we get on the phone. His step mom comes home and calls him into the kitchen. I'm still on the phone and can hear everything. She just starts SCREAMING at him over being home past 9! I mean 10 minutes straight my boyfriend didn't even get a word in! Yelling at him saying how disrespectful he is to be out "so late" and how he's lazy and pathetic and never does anything for them (his dad and step mom). Tells him that he's irresponsible and can't do anything right. I was shaking I was so furious!

Then she proceeds to tell him he has to be home by 8:30 on Sundays now. He tries to tell her that he must've misunderstood because a few weeks ago they told him to just be home before midnight, never mentioned anything special about Sundays. But she refused to listen. Kept saying he should've known what "they" meant.

Well, then he asked if he could still go out with me and my family for my birthday and she tells him "maybe but you'll have to be home by 8:30" We are eating and going bowling, and we aren't starting until 6:30 because my parents work. That means less than 2 hours so he gets to stay for food and that's basically all. I'm so upset and angry. Why is she being so hateful? We've been together for over 2 years and have never had these issues.

Also, he babysits for them all the time. He puts the kids on the bus for them, makes them food, does dishes, does laundry, cleans, basically everything! He takes care of her kids more than she does! She's only at work from 6 to 2:00, but doesn't do anything! And when my boyfriend can't babysit, she asks me to come babysit and if I can't because of plans or work, she gets irritated with me! But apparently my boyfriend does nothing for her and gets yelled at about how he's essentially worthless. I'm so upset for him. He doesn't deserve this.

She has said things like this in the past and he has tried going to his dad about it, but he brushes it off because he doesn't believe him. So it's this endless cycle. He wants to move out, but he can't because he doesn't have the money.

Please, we could both use some advice. And don't just say something like "her house, her rules," she doesn't pay for anything except her car and her cigarettes. His dad pays for everything else and my boyfriend pays some on groceries and a few utilities. We really need some advice on how to handle this constant situation!