Need some direction.

I love my bf. He’s been my bff for years... since high school ..so roughly about twelve years. We finally decided to get more serious and I’ve moved to a whole other state for him. In the meantime I’ve gained like 30 pounds in the past four months. I love my bf but he’s shallow. Our sex life is shit. If it’s even considered a sex life, it’s so far and few between. He says he’s always had a low sex drive but watches porn and sees reddit girls and even has favorite porn stars. I’ve tried to talk to him about other options, why things aren’t as great as they can be, improvements. I’ve told him I’m not satisfied with our sex life. It’s like we’re in middle school all over again. There is NO foreplay. He absolutely refuses. I’ll perform on him but he will not on me. When Ive tried to bring it up he just closes up. He’s completely unresponsive. He’s told me he’s gone down on plenty of girls. When I ask why not now he just shrugs. Never gives me an answer. I feel like my weight gain is a factor. I’m probably the biggest girl he’s been with now. I feel like poop. He doesn’t get it. When I bring it up now he just gets mad. Ive even brought up having an open relationship and he’s completely against it. Sex doesn’t make or break a relationship but I’m at a lose. I’m unsatisfied. I feel terrible which I’m sure plays a part in it but I don’t know what else to do. I need some direction...