Did your relationship worsen in the first year of having a baby?

Question

My husband and I are having A LOT of problems. He says I’ve changed (duh), and that gives him the “freedom” to not care. 
I am a SAHM so he feels like the baby is my job. I feel like I have a rope around my leg connected to our daughter and house, and the one person who I should be able to guilt free trust to watch her so that I can have time alone, is always on his phone whenever he is here. 
He works 40+ hours a week, so I get the need for a break, but every time you are not clocked in doesn’t mean it’s free time.

Answer

There are definitely more challenges/stressors that come along with parenthood but that’s not what this is. This is your husband being a selfish ass. Sorry not sorry. The baby may be your “job” but you still have an identity outside of wife and mother. He’s a father, not a sperm donor. Sure, he’s the breadwinner but you can’t be the sole caretaker for your child. That’s 100% not fair to you.

Answer

The first year was the worst for us. We had to learn to re shape our lives entirely. I became a stay at home mom and started college courses for a second degree. My fiance took on a new position with more hours and opportunity. He thought work was his only job and the rest was mine. It ended up seriously escalating to the point we were planning on going separate ways. However, after a heart to heart with his dad as a mediator we managed things MUCH better. We learned to make time for just me and him. We learned to talk through the problems. We learned to discuss parenting before making a decision or reacting to things. We learned to balance chores and child care. Over all, we learned to be a Team! We are on the second year and it's been soooooooo much better. We still have our moments, but I can honestly say we are in a much better place in our relationship.

Answer

Don’t be sorry! It’s 100% true.

Did your relationship worsen in the first year of having a baby?

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