finding forgiveness

forgiveness is something I have struggled for years. it's so much easier to say I forgive you then to actually forgive. I have tried several times to get closer to God but I always find emptyness, I know he is real and I believe him and I ask to show me to forgive but it's hard. when I was 5 my dad got locked up for over 10 years for somethings that he did(don't want to get much into detail) last year his dad my grandpa passed away and of course he was there, I was so nervous to even be there and I could of not of attended if it wasn't for my husband. My dad came up to me and hugged me without even asking. which got me off guard and just talked to me like nothing ever happened. I was so confused and angery that after over 20 years didnt say sorry for what he did to me,my family and those who suffered.. I want to learn how to forgive and move on but that's where I struggle. for those who have gotten hurt by your parents,family members how did you forgive or Found peace