Just two weeks and three days ago I gave birth to my first child a beautiful little girl... she had been given a fatal diagnosis (fetal encephalocele) but we carried to terms anyways hoping she wouldn't be as bad off as they told us.. and at first she wasn't she survived for 13 hours before she passed... and even though we knew for a very long time she may not survive and it was more likely she would pass having her then losing her has been the hardware thing I have ever experienced in life. I spent this morning sitting in my room lights completely out staring at a blank TV screen for hours.. I've started grief counseling but I feel like nothing is helping... I just feel lost