The only problem I’ve ever had in my relationship is my fault. Two years ago, my boyfriend and I were talking. My mom got in it and shut it down and I wasn’t allowed to talk to him. Well, months of flirting and talking made my feelings for him really intense. I tried to rebound (no sex, he’s my first and hopefully only) emotionally, and it did nothing but convince him I didn’t care.

This led him to getting a girlfriend. They broke up because she spent the night with a guy and lied to my boyfriend about partying.

Anyway, a few months after they broke up, I went back to him and was like “look, my feelings for you haven’t faded. I think I love you.” Type of deal. We were basically together but not technically, and she wouldn’t stop flirting with him. He put a stop to her flirting, but I didn’t (and don’t) want someone who doesn’t respect that we’re a thing in his life.

It all came down to one talk we had over it where I told him that him continually choosing to keep talking to her makes me feel like I’m not as important to him as he says. He realized that their friendship was seriously hurting me. He tried to stop being her friend, but she threatened to kill herself. After that threat, she went promptly to sleep and didn’t respond until the next day.

Is it bad of me to not want him to talk to her? Am I the only one who thinks she’s saying it to keep him there? She told him he’s her reason for living but he refuses to accept that she still wants him. Am I crazy for thinking that? Am I too controlling? Help please.