bad self esteem can really change a relationship

I've struggled with depression for about 5 years now. I have a boyfriend now and we've been together strongly for about 5 months. he tells me to be completely honest and i am. I struggle with sharing Everything tho, all my thoughts and emotions. I've gotten a lot better though for him cuz he says and I agree that if we share everything together it'll help make our relationship that much Better. well i got better with my depression for the first 3 months of our relationship because of him. but now I don't know what happened, but my depression has gone back down hill again. it's not as bad as before him tho.

well when I do tell him stuff he just gets frustrated that I don't see myself like he sees me (I see myself as horse shit and he sees me as a unicorn queen). I feel like shit even more as he explains how he sees me and wants me to see myself the same way but I can't. I usually try but now when I try it doesn't do ANYTHING. I just combat myself with sooooo many things.

anyways I'm just getting annoying to him and I don't want it to ruin our relationship anymore cuz he's so amazing but I don't deserve him and agh!!!

sorry for the rant but I have no one to talk to this about.