best friend...

I feel like a really awful person today :'( my best friend and I.. started TTC the same month 7 months ago... we knew it would be hard for the person that didn't catch each month .....guess what..its me. .yesterday she came to mine to borrow a FRER .... I had to watch her elation as two lines appeared then watch her phine her partner . whilst im happy for her I feel broken inside. this was the last month for me as my partner was deployed when i was 2dpo. today I feel resentful of my partners career ... upset ..gutted. .and as well as missing my man for the next few months I have to watch my friends tummy grow...i hope this doesn't make me sound awful ..but I really could do with some friendly advice :(