I’m like messed up for some reason.

Maybe I should go to abuse counseling even though it all occurred when I was young.

I use to lie about stupid things. My friends lied and never had consequences so I started to when I moved. They lied about having siblings so I copied and lied about having a celebrity sibling.

I use to be mean to my fiancé. Just saying rude things and what not in Highschool, but stoped after a few months. Years later he’s absolutely terrible to me sometimes and I just can’t leave for some reason. Guilt from hurting him maybe? My friends have left because he fights them for no reason, does gross things, is rude to me, or I push them away from seeing stuff. I feel kinda along. I’m not a mean person. I only was early on but he’s always hurt me when it counted.

I feel messed up...

He wants me to give him a shot and move across country. It’s what we talked about for years. He’s very influenced by outside sources. We live in the city voted most violent and shitty people. He’s done violent and shitty things. So what the hell... do I give him a shot and move to a happy environment? I keep trying to go and it doesn’t work. But I’m also not sure I exactly mind when he doesn’t want to leave. Ughhh...

Edit: we have a daughter and he stopped drinking for her