Hi I am in Fontana,CA been here for awhile now I hardly go out for myself I am a stay at home single mother and my job is to take care of the house and my son that’s on a cancer remission, set up appointments, call iehp transportation to give us a ride there, (I cannot drive) I live with my mom (grr) I can’t afford a place of out own $$$$ My Mom says I am unable to make it if I did try (grr) I know American Sign Language and English mainly Nope I only know a little Spanish, I crochet when my son sleeps, mainly I keep myself copped up following rules of the house mainly, do the same routines every day I have mental health issues I wish it can be fixed, Usually I don’t know who to turn to for advice my mom not very much help afraid what she will say or I already know what she will say, Usually my grandmother would know what to say best but she passed away last year, I left my domestic abuse relationship in 2016,my ex husband has custody of my oldest they live in NE yeah horrible man, mI cannot afford a lawyer to help me either can’t get a job or a car until I get on right medication my mom says (grr) any way I am turning 34 years old in June, my responsibility is my son but i wish I could have my life back you know I feel like my ex husband is still holding me down all this stuff going on like it’s crashing into me adding more weight to me on my shoulders I feel like that I can’t let love back into my life I try to move forward really I met a guy cute but my mom doesn’t want me to meet him because I met him online (kik) he is cute and funn, I like him we got to know each other for 7 months feels like I’ve known him forever it’s not like I can keep this crush on him well he wants to meet or something but I get this feeling inside me that won’t let me my mom says my son is my priority no meeting guys online meet them face to face(grr) feels like I am being controlled again by my ex husband he would say your not allowed to talk to your friends or family any more, my mom worries so much because of the criminals she is one of those type that does background checks yeah she is very overly protective of us (grr) I haven’t seen my friends like since December last year, been busy I guess my mom is all I have left should I wait until something happens to her to meet a guy I want my life back I want my freedom of you know what I mean I feel like I am cooped up all over again my neighbor says I need a vacation like that will ever happen huh how am I supposed to wait for love to find me if I am hiding explain that to me huh I just don’t get my mom maybe she wants me to be single for the rest of my life I am trying to start fresh and new move on find out if I can let love back in trusting someone again. I still feeling trapped inside what am I supposed to do? The only places I go to is doctors appointments mine and my son’s then come home and grocery store then come home visit my friends for 3 hours then come home (that’s only if I can get my chance to visit) got to let my mom know where I am going at all times now, no more walks around our neighborhood, stay home talking to myself or my son (grr) I haven’t had a real social life when living with my ex husband and now it feels like I am talking to my mom or my son I want to see different faces someone my age probably I wish I can show my mom I am a good daughter, a good mom, a good friend, how am I supposed to realize to let go of my past?