getting him back

so long story short, I ended things with my bf of 4 years about 2 months ago. we were just very distant at the time, I felt lonely, I'm dealing with some depression issues and just needed time to find some love for myself. it's been good. we still have a spark. however, the other day I was having a wilddddd anxiety attack (on top of pms 😫) and I texted him saying we shouldn't see each other anymore, I don't know why. I think I got jealous over something. then crazily regretted it and the past 4 days have been overwhelming, I haven't been freaking out to him, been real good about that, but he knows I'm upset and my anxiety is skyrocketting. not to mention, now it looks like he's ready to jump into the dating world so it makes me feel like I'm too late. he's on bumble now. so I reactivated my account (that I made awhile ago) and swiped right last night, and we matched. all after me being a psycho ball of anxiety for a few days. so that's a good sign I guess? hahaha, well today's a good day, I've calmed down so much and feel confident. we haven't talked today, we don't talk too much anyways lately. I was talking to his mom last night who agreed... this isn't over.

so my plan is to go over tonight... as long as he's home... and I guess try talking to him about trying again 🤷🏼‍♀️ anyone have any tips so I don't completely fall apart and seem like I'm begging for him back? and I don't really want to tell him I'm coming either. I've always been known for my unexpected dropins. if I tell him I'm coming over he will just try forcing info out of me via text, and I need to do this in person.. I just hope I'm not too late. haaaaaaaaalp