Worst day ever.

Today has been a terrible day. 21 w5d. Had my doctor appointment, spilt my own pee on me in the restroom, cried at how much weight I’ve gained, and my doctor made me feel worse. Saying no matter what, my body will never be the same and everything will be “stretched out”. She didn’t reassure me or offer any kind of understanding. I can’t stand looking in the mirror. I feel like a disgusting woman; I’ve never been so heavy, so pale or so miserable.

Then I get a bill from my recent ER visit. $900. I already owe $500 to my doctor. Awesome. Thanks shitty, overpriced insurance.

Get locked out of my house, my husband is being a jerk, and my round ligament pain is so bad I’m seeing spots.

I can’t stop crying and wish I didn’t exist. Today is so miserable.

I love that I’m growing my daughter but I feel like I’m going to be the most useless and disgusting mother ever.

I just needed to vent...