When It Comes To Breakups...

(Brace yourself, long post ahead) I've been seeing a lot of break up posts on here lately and I wanted to say the following:

I was with my ex for 8 years on and off. We went to school together, had some of the same friends, so on and so forth. He took my virginity. He was my first love. You know the rest.

Then one day he decided he couldn't handle it anymore. He broke up with me. I was devastated and I couldn't see things the same way; within a month he was asking me if I was trying to date again and I promptly said, "No, won't be ready for a while. How about you?" to which he said, "Yes her name is Mallory, we have a date night tonight."

Needless to say I was choked. Eight years of actual dating just down the tubes like nothing. Songs reminded me of him. Random places reminded me of all our outings. I even stopped star gazing because it reminded me of all the times we would lay in a field or on the hood of his car watching them.

I'd eat little amounts and throw up after eating from how sad I was. I dropped weight. I didn't think I could do better because I was on the heavy side. At one point I thought I was literally dying because of the rapid weight loss, the inconsistent sleeping patterns, the chest pains and my inability to digest solid food.

Months flew by. I deleted all my social media. I removed myself and started focusing on my skills. Something amazing happened; after a year of suffering and never thinking I'd be able to move on, I was starting to wake up and do 150 sit ups and morning stretches.

Instead of crying as soon as I woke up, I was doing tracking in my daily planner. Instead of self defeat, I was going on a 5 mile run 4x per week. My friends started multiplying in quality and quantity. My career was starting at the age of 22.

Suddenly I remembered all the times he would gaslight me and never answer his phone (we were LDR). Or when he'd text me at 3am his time and be with female friends at the bar. I remembered the arguments and heartbreak I would have over him never telling his parents about me, in the eight years we were together. I didn't exist to anyone in his life with the exception of a few friends.

I realized the break up was the best thing that happened to me. Then I met my now husband. Within two weeks of dating he was showing me off to family and friends, posting pictures of us on Instagram and has never given me a reason to worry. In the last three years, my ex has tried to get back together, but I have said no every time. He missed out. He messed up.

This is to all of you who feel/are heartbroken. You will get better. You will move on. You will find someone who treats you in a way you never thought possible. It seems hard now. Heck, you may even think I'm blowing smoke, but I mean it. It gets better. You're beautiful.