I know it’s long please read

So it’s currently almost midnight and I’ve been laying in bed for hours now. I’ve been contemplating everything I want to do in life. I want to be a special ed teacher but I also want to be a marine so badly. I was in rotc for 3 years I was even the XO of the company, but idk if that is what I want. That’s all I use to dream of, but then I started volunteering in the special needs class every day and I just connected with those kids. But I see marines around (including my father) and I remember my mini boot camp at Paris Island for a week where we did boots and utes with the drill instructors and the O course as well as all the PFTs and CFTs and inspections in ROTC and want to be a Marine. I feel like no matter what I choose it will be the wrong choice. Not to mention that no matter what I choose one of my parents will be upset. If I choose Marines my mom will blame my dad for pressuring me and if I choose special needs my dad will blame my mom for pressuring me.