need to just let it allllll out!

so I cant exactly tell my friends about what happened today, so here I am guys😏 feel free to comment or anything I honestly just need to get all this out and have someone to talk to about it!

so the day i turned 27 weeks pregnant w my second child(I'm currently 34), my childrens father left me and immediately got into a relationship with a girl who recently got out of rehab for stealing selling and abusing prescription meds (she currently still does). it hurt like hell. i then found out they had been a thing for an entire month before he left me, and he was also fooling around with another girl in our home. he now is dating the rehab girls best friend and using her money and car (he quit his job when he left me) so i hope hes enjoying that, especially since he hasnt asked about our children at all since the split.

its been 2 months since we broke up. i have been craving another person. not even a relationship, i just have been wanting sex so bad. Part of me thinks its wrong because I'm carrying my exes child, and i thought itd be weird having sex w someone else... but another part of me is like Girl, you deserve to feel good too! your life isnt over you deserve a rebound or whatever!

so.... I didnt plan on having sex. I really didn't think anyone would even be attracted to a girl 8months pregnant. However a friend of mine (ive known him and we've been good friends for 6years now) had gotten a hold of me. he is also a couple months out of a relationship and we were just catching up etc. he then called me and we were on the phone for 2 hours. during the phone call we talked about a lot of stuff. but he brought up wanting to know what itd be like to be with me, like friends with benefits type deal. I figured weve known eachother for a long time, we dont have any emotions for eachother that aren't on a close friendship level so why not?

so today we hung out, drive around, and i went to his house. we caught up some more, watched some movies and eventually we started kissing and one thing led to another. it was sort of awkward, I hadnt been with anyone else in a long time, and had never been with him. I'm also super pregnant so it was kind of funny maneuvering around the belly but it ended up being pretty good.

I feel good that i got to let out some sexual tension, got to feel wanted and honestly felt pretty damn confident for a bit. but part of me still feels bad because I'm pregnant w someome else's kid 😬 i just dont know who to go to to talk about any of this. my friends will be judgemental and I dont know anyone else whos been in a similar situation you know?