Freaking Out

I’m 8 weeks I’ve had some light spotting once a week on weeks 6 and 7. Just pink, nothing too bad, went to the doc both times and she said just no sex and pelvic rest because I have a friable cervix.

She did not mention anything about clitoral stimulation and o-ing. Last night I had a HOT dream and woke up all sweaty so I pulled out my vibrator since DH and I can’t do anything and that did the trick. No penetration but then, to my horror, I peed and then there it was again, but this time bright red blood!

I have had cramps all morning and each time I pee/wipe there’s a little blood. I peed about 10 minutes ago and passed a little blood clot too. I’m freaking out. Nothing is coming out unless I pee or wipe and doc said last week that as long as there’s no heavy bleeding/filling a pad I’m okay but I’m still terrified!!

Damn these hormones and my stupid friable cervix! Some women can have all the sex they want during pregnancy and I can’t even O without bleeding. Now I’m afraid I just mc bc of my horniness and feel like a moron. I have a check up on Wednesday so I’m not calling the doc now but I am so embarrassed and ashamed and just needed to reach out 😓