I really need help

Okay guys, this is a very sore subject for me and I just started to open up about it. Last year I was in a committed relationship. My boyfriend at the time had always wanted to try anal and I never wanted to. He found out that when I get super drunk I’d say yes to a lot of things I wouldn’t normally say yes to. He then would get me so drunk to the point I was limp and would start with anal. I remember not wanting to but didn’t have the strength to say no. This happened about 2-3 times. I confided in my best friend about this because I thought I sounded crazy wondering if my boyfriend had been raping me. I loved him and didn’t want to think of him like that but it was something I would never do sober and he knew that. I felt violated and disgusting and it still bothers me. Idk what to do here... advice? Support? Anything? Thanks

-K