Annoyed af!

Me and my kids father has been together for 4 years. He’s so Unaffectionate and I hate it. He works at a prison and has and ex- wife from hell that he was married to for 12 years and just so happen their anniversary is my birthday.. how convenient is that ugh..., but anyways I had to recently sign a harassment warrant on her because she follows and harasses me for no reason.. I feel like I been mentally been suffering for years all because I want to make sure my kids knows what it’s like to have both parents in the home, but I know this can’t be the end of life for me.. I’m so unhappy me mentally, physically, and even spiritually. Like every sense of my being is suffering, but for some reason I love this man.. what going on.. someone pleAse share some valuable advice