Help!

So in grade 1, my male teacher fingered me for like the whole year in grade 1. I will get cuts around my clit my mom sees it but i don't tell her. But everything came to an end , the principal took him out of the school but some of my class mates came to know about it.

And in grade 4, also, my male teacher pressed my boobs. And as he pressed he would just have a conversation with me so that I will take my mind of it . And also my class mates came to know about it. From that day I feel like I'm not a woman , I fell disgusted, I feel like no man will like to date or marry me if I tell them what I went through. I'm now in just grade 7 but i cry so much . So sometimes I create jokes for others to smile but as for me .... I can't even smile. I also try to have fun so that I can take my mind off those things.😭😭