Struggles of a step mom😔

My fiancé has 2 kids and we have one on the way now.. I have never tried to replace my step kids mom nor Do i ever try to push the “mom role” as much as their comfortable with. but we have been together going on 4 years now.. and it might just be my hormones making me sad but we were talking to his daughter (7 years old) about brushing her teeth and keeping personal hygiene, well in the mist of this conversation I told her she might have to start getting up earlier and she told me “ stop bossing me around you’re not my boss” I know she probably didn’t mean it the way I took it but still .. it hurts my heart because i know at the end of the day no matter what I do for them they will only see me as Sara. Which again I’m not trying to replace they’re mom but I guess it would just be nice to be seen for all the things I do for them too.. 🤷🏽‍♀️☹️