It’s been 7 months...

I miscarried 7 months ago and I am still not coping with the loss. I haven’t had time to grieve. I was living abroad when it happened and I had to come home because my grandma was sick. So I had a miscarriage, a month later flew home and cared for my grandma almost 24/7 until she passed away in January. I was also there when she passed. There has been so much grief I don’t know what to do with myself.

The miscarriage was traumatic as baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, the doctor told us at what was supposed to be 10 weeks that it was a failed pregnancy and I didn’t miscarry until 2 weeks later. I was supposed to go in for a D&C; but the day before that happened my body decided to do it the natural way. I ended up in hospital being put on morphine, it was gory and messy and horrendously painful.

I just feel so alone in this, so I thought maybe if I shared my story maybe it would help to ease some of the pain. My SO has been amazing through everything and so supportive, yet I just feel cut off and I hate my body. I get sad when he touches my stomach, I don’t mean to push him away it’s just being in this much emotional pain makes everything so difficult.

I know I can get through this, it’s going to take time and I really need to start letting it out. I’m not good with loss or emotions really, I never have been. It doesn’t help that I’ve been diagnosed with hypothyroidism and anemia now also so I’m very tired and lethargic a lot of the time too!

Sorry for the very long post, it’s been a fun 7 months 😖