Suffocating with anxiety...Too much pressure for the baby shower

Before I got pregnant, I always said I didn’t want a baby shower. I hate the whole idea of attention on me and it honestly really stresses me out. Now that I’m pregnant with the first grandchild on both sides, my MIL is obsessed with throwing us a shower. And my husband agrees. Here’s the thing, I don’t speak to my family, and I don’t have many friends so everyone who is invited is from my husbands family but my MIL is going crazy! She’s inviting almost 40 people and I barely know ANY of them. This is really stressing me out that when I think about it, I burst into tears. I’m literally dreading that day. To make it worse I know my In laws aren’t gonna pay for everything (we always pay for dinners when we go out with them, we even give them money every single month to help with their bills, $800 a month to be exact) and I know my husbands gonna have to pitch in for the catering, decorations etc and I would honestly rather use that money for the baby than to feed people we barely know. These are people my husband hasn’t seen in forever nor are we close to them but they will for sure come just for the free food (his family is ghetto like that, or so I’ve heard). I talked to my husband and it blew up, saying how selfish I was and that I needed to do this for him. I tell him this is stressing me out and that’s all he cares about. what’s worse is my MIL is so controlling, these are all her family and friends that I have never even met, she also wants to do it during my 8th month of pregnancy and I told her I didn’t want to be too big and uncomfortable I would rather do it earlier and she threw a fit saying “uh yeah we will see about that”. My husband backed her up as well. I just feel so alone and sad... I don’t have any family or friends to talk to about this I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be great, even if I’m being selfish, tell me why...I’m just terrified of this shower. I obviously suffer from lack of confidence and low self esteem so I hate all eyes on me. That’s why I just eloped. 😢