My best friend..

So me and this guy have been best friends since we were about 13 years old (we are 27 and 28 years old now). We dated a few years ago but it just didn’t work out. We still stayed really close though but my feelings for him never went away.

He’s dated/ saw 5 girls since our break up, none lasting long. I honestly think the longest was 8 months and the shortest was 3 days. Anyways, I’m always the girl he tells his problems to about the other girls and it is so hard to give him advice cause I honestly just want to scream “ I love you!” at him. But I try and be helpful and supportive but I still tell him what I think of them.

What makes it harder is knowing he still has feelings for me deep down and is just scared of being hurt and opening his heart up (his words!).

Him and I talked the other night (cause we live together for a little over a year now and sleep in the same bed and cuddle and have sex but we aren’t together though we act like it sometimes) and I asked him if he’s ever noticed his pattern. He looked at me questioningly and I explained that after every failed attempt at a relationship he has, he always comes back to me. And he said that it has actually crossed his mind and that even though we’ve both hurt each other, there will always be feelings for me deep inside him.

So I’ve been remaining faithful in this relationship of no labels cause we always talk about trying again. But it bugs me that he can still put me on the back burner to try and see if “the new girl” might be the one when his one is waiting at home for him.

So I don’t know what to do anymore. I get hurt every time there is a new girl and I feel threatened by it. Like the girl is walking in on my territory. So do I just say we either need to stop and just be friends, kick him out of my life for good or say enough games, we need to focus on us and put in some real effort?

Why the hell do men have to be so confusing?!

Also fun note: last year we went and got our tarot cards and tea leaves read by this lady who was actually really good. And she just looked at us and asked if we were together and we both looked at each other, I smiled and we both said no. And she just nodded her head and said “I have a feeling you guys are meant to be”