Help!

Julie • All I want is a baby, boy or girl but I fear it wont happen for me or my man ever.
I'm over weight, I am 24, I weigh 245 at 5'9 inches, I've been trying to have a baby with my husband of 4 years. I'm a worthless piece of shit, my periods are totally random, if they come. I am some times feeling suicidal. Please help me.