Talked to your child about predators or preventing abuse?

Question

Have you spoken to your child about preventing and reporting abuse?

What age did you have this talk? What did you tell them during this talk?

My child is in daycare, and while I like and trust the daycare, I'm wondering if I should start having this talk with my child. All your specific comments/advice will be greatly appreciated!

Answer

Later when she can understand, she's only 2... I was giving her a bath last week and I was like if anyone touches you here and there scream mama out loud. She said quack quack.. 😐

Answer

We try to talk about it in a pretty casual way, no big serious sit-down talk, but we've told our daughter starting at a very young age that no one can touch her "privates" or bum except for her and if she wants to touch herself she can but should do it while alone. I think we mentioned it starting from about two years, but maybe even younger. Also, she always should tell mom or dad if someone touches her anywhere and she didn't like it. I ask her now and then if anyone has touched her or hurt her, because I don't know if she would report it or not.

In public places, she needs to stay where mom or dad can see her (she had a tendency to run off in crowds and we live in Beijing, so it's an incredibly crowded city) and we told her quite honestly why - it's because we don't want anyone to steal her.

I was a little nervous being so straightforward and I thought it might scare her, but it really didn't at all. I think addressing these things in a matter-of-fact tone helped. Honesty but with a relaxed tone of voice seems to be the best strategy.

Good luck!

Answer

I have talked to me daughter a out private parts since she was about 3. Old enough to know and understand what I am saying.  You don't speak about it to make it scary. I just explained that those are her private parts and that no one should touch them except when mommy help you with the bath or wiping and told her that if anyone ever touches them that she needs to tell me asap. I bring it up still just Cu when they are little they don't always think about it.  But then again I told my child about cremation when she was only 5.

Answer

Erin Merryn is trying to pass a law in all 50 states which would require schools k-12 to teach students what the no touch zones are and how to report it if they have been molested. It is called Erin's Law. As parents we are our children's best voice. If your state does not currently have this law please look into what you can do to get it passed. Protecting our children should be our # 1 goal.

Answer

My daughter went to a play/concert thingy I don't know what to call it but she is almost 16 I still give her the talk I told her don't stray from the crowd don't look strange men in the eyes and don't give your number to strange boys ect I always talk to them before they leave my daughter was with her friend and was like mom we know I just got to make sure

Answer

I want to encourage you to teach your children the correct term for their body parts. It protects them from confusion, a predator may use pet names for the body/action. Also using a "cute" name for their genitals may also give them the impression part of their body is a bad word. When it's really not.

Answer

My son is two and we've just started the healthy discussions of this is his wiener and no one else touches it. We do allow him to touch it because we don't want him to feel like it's wrong (but so far only in the bathtub!).

We also respect his no whenever possible.  Even if just playing and not having to do w physical touch. We want him to respect our "no" too.

Answer

I've always talked to my son about strangers and how, not everyone is nice and you don't ever go with a stranger. I've told him no none is ever allowed to touch his bottom or his privates, not even his grandparents. The only person that should touch him there is the doctor and as long as the doctor asks if he's okay with it. It's not a one time talk. I bring it up all the time and am constantly reminding him of all the dangers there are.

Answer

My daughter is just turning 18 months so it's not like she can understand much right now. But I do intend to talk with her as she becomes older about what is allowed and what isn't allowed for someone else to do to you.

Answer

We talk about what is right and don't focus on the wrong. 
When you don't like being touched, you say stop and that person must stop. Even if they think it's fun (tickling etc).
It's ok to need help with personal care. If someone says not to tell mummy or daddy about it, then it's wrong.
So we've mostly covered consent and we practice it at home and our family have to too. That has lead to some unhappy discussions. Telling Grandpa he had to stop tickling because the kid had said stop. But then we said it works to other way too.  
Children's charities like the NSPCC have good guides for parents on how to explain this stuff.

Talked to your child about predators or preventing abuse?

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