Periods after miscarriage...

I had a missed miscarriage back in January. It was very traumatic... found out at my 12 week scan that baby had died at 8 weeks. Waited all day for a D&C; with no food or drink to be told they couldn’t get me in. I started bleeding in the hospital. They sent me home and the next 24 hours I had contraction like cramps with like no bleeding. I was like contracting on the floor on my knees thinking it was helping but was just peeing myself. This carried on till I couldn’t cope anymore and my husband and mum took me to A&E.; I had a cocktail of pain killers and then was put on a female ward. The next morning the consultants gave me pills to put inside me to bring on the miscarriage. For the next 6 hours i had awful awful contractions, wanting to cry out but there were women with dementia crying on the same ward. I was sick from pain killers and felt like I lost all my dignity. I eventually miscarried in the commode. So much blood and the nurses had to collect it all and my mum took my baby away. A month later I passed more tissue and had to have a scan. Luckily was ok...

So now the week leading up to went AF is due I’m a mess. I take loads of tests, all negative, and then my period comes and I feel like I’m reliving what I went through. This month was particularly hard because AF was late and I’m never late. It’s a monthly reminder that I’m not pregnant with my baby anymore.

And it was really painful. I was going to be due in 5 weeks so plan to have one more cycle and then go back on the pill to give myself a break. Was just wondering if anyone felt the same? Any advice? And just a safe safe to let my feelings out.