I want my ex back...

Ladies I need some encouraging words, thoughts, advice anything positive.

I left my ex of 8 years about 11 months ago. I am with someone new. I never wanted to leave my ex I loved him so much I wanted a family and marriage with him it just got to the point where it was bad for mentally and physically. My new guy is AMAZING IN EVERY WAY but I still love my ex so much. He got a girl who isn’t a good person pregnant last October. It’s so devastating for me he never wanted kids or marriage. I want to message my ex so bad and just tell him how much he has hurt me. But I’m not that’s not the healthy thing to do. I just need to stay strong and leave it be. I’m having a moment of weakness........it’s the worst feeling in the world that girl got everything I wanted with him (it took her one drunken night to get what I wanted from him) I was never going to trap him into becoming a father I’m not that kind of person and I never would want a father like that for my child. He did tell me today he was excited about having a baby. 😭 I was nice to him and told him I was happy he was finally on board with it

He’s a great person but he never was to me.