How pathetic is my relationship

I am literally in a marriage where we have only been married for 2 years in November and we never have sex. I have caught him getting off in the shower, so I know he’s pleasuring himself. I try to get him to have sex with me. I’ve tried everything new. New positions, new lingerie, different talk, different environments, everything and he never wants to. In the entire 6 years we have been together I can’t recall 1 time that he has ever initiated sex or a sexual action. It’s always been me. So here we are in a marriage where he gets himself off and I get myself off. I guess I can’t blame him though. I mean, who wants to have sex with an almost 300 pound woman. (Don’t start with the lose weight if I’m not happy, I am losing weight, I’m down 18 pounds). I just don’t get it. I’ve tried to talk to him about it and he gets mad and blows me off and leaves. I’ve suggested counseling and he refuses. I love him so much and could never leave him. We have fun together, we have a good relationship, it just has 0 sex and 0 chance of the baby that I desperately want.

* Yes, he wants a baby. He’s the one that made me come around to wanting them. He wants 4. And as I’ve said, I’ve tried talking to him about it. How can I talk to him about something he won’t listen or respond to and literally leaves when I try to. And again, HE REFUSES TO GO TO COUNSELING. Please read.

* We used to be very sexually connected. I started things yes, but he was into it. Then it changed after we got married.