Okay ladies I need some advice. My boyfriend (18) and I (19) have been dating for almost two years now. There are so many qualities I love about him, but it’s gotten to the point I think I have to end it. He doesn’t make me feel .. feminine? ...for lack of a better word. Let me paint you a picture. He’s 6’2, 138lbs. I’m 5’9, 160lbs. Next to him I look (and feel) like a whale. He rarely -if ever- compliments my appearance. I’m talking maybe once every four months? And even then I have to ask “Hey do you like this outfit? I picked it out for you?” or something along those lines. Even when we’re intimate he doesn’t say anything ... it’s really beaten down my self esteem. I understand that looks aren’t everything, but I need to feel attractive, and I don’t.

Second, I’ve never felt pursued by him. For example, when we started dating, it was because I went up to him and said “Hey, are you busy Friday? Let’s go out” and that’s how every date since then has formulated. Typically I don’t have a problem doing this, but it often times makes me wonder if this is a relationship he actually wants? I’ve brought this up, and he insists that he wants this, but never has he shown it. Never asks me out first, calls first, texts first, etc.

Third, this goes back to the low self esteem/ compliment problem. I hate eating in front of him. I’ll spend 8-10 hours with him, ask if he’s hungry (because I’m starving by then) and he shrugs “eh, not really.. why?” So I’ll go out to eat with him, he’ll pick at his food, and then ask for a to-go box. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him finish a meal. Then here I am chowing down staring at this skinny man drinking water watching me eat with disgust.

Finally, we disagree on nearly every recreational activity. I love swimming, surfing, ice skating, the beach. Anything with sun, sand, water or ice. He doesn’t like any of that, he’s more of a hunting, hiking, camping kind of guy. Which... I’ll do? But don’t care for.

I don’t know if these are major problems.. but he’s entering the Army in a few months and we’re already talking about marriage. Do you girls think these are deal breakers? Or could I live a life with him? I’m really stuck and I’m not sure what to do.

Here’s the most recent photo of him and I at his graduation so you get an idea of how I look next to him.

*update*

I sat down with him and we talked. I even let him read this post because I couldn’t put my feelings into words while sitting in front of him. He said he didn’t realize I felt this way, and he’s going to work on it. Thank you all for your help, I really appreciate it. ❤️