So I am 30+4 today with my 3rd child. I am currently as I type, laying in my car because the father of my 3 children is so disrespectful. I am honestly just ready to give up on life. I know that I have 3 kids to live for, but without their Dad, we are homeless and cannot make it in our own. I left him in 2016, 4 months before my second son was born, got my own place in my hometown that I could afford, got a job at the post office as a postmaster, and bought everything my baby needed in the short time that I had before he came in Sept 2016. I was making it until the month the baby was coming and I started work at the post office and I had absolutely NO money saved, did not qualify for daycare assistance and had/have 0 help with my kids. (My parents left me alone in VA a month after I turned 18 and moved to Alaska.) So he said he would come and help me with the kids while I worked, because my dream is to be a nurse and I was also taking my prerequisites for RN school. I agreed. He came and we fought from the beginning, I was 9 months pregnant and he was knocking me around, suffocating me in closets because I didn’t come straight home from work and do the dishes. I called the cops on him over 15 times and he has 4 domestic violence charges. I asked that he not be allowed to come back to my house (since he was not on the lease) and the police informed me that the law in VA is if someone stays in your house for over a week, they establish “residency” and you cannot make them leave, whether in the lease or not, so know I had nowhere to go, even though he was 2 hours away from his hometown, he refused to leave and made every day a living hell. In June of 2017 I got accepted to start nursing school in August ‘17, I bought a car with less miles and gave him my old car on the grounds that he would leave. He left, but not before kicking my door down from the outside, which caused my landlord to say regardless of him leaving, she was not going to renew my lease once it was over in July. So I had to move a whole two bedroom apartment 100% by myself with a 3 year and 9 month old. my 70 year old grandmother told me not to worry about trying to find a place and all of that a month before starting nursing school, and to come live with her for the 18 months it would take to finish (supposed to graduate May ‘19). I moved in with her on August 1st 2017. I started school 8/17/17. Things were good, in October dropping my children off, a Chinese delivery driver was cutting across a parking lot on a phone and speeding, and T-boned my car, totaling it. So I got a new car 2 weeks later. On the way to an exam at 0600 in the am, there was a tree in the road and my car hit it, which in turn made me hit 2 other trees and total that car the day after I put tags and insurance on it. Because no other cars were involved and it was a tree in the road they called it “an act of God” and I got $0 out of the accident and had no way to replace my car. It was now November and I had one more month in my semester. So I called my children’s father and asked if I could borrow MY car back for one month to finish school, he agreed. So he drove the two hours to come and get me and we drove back to where he lives so I could drop him off and take the car. Well on the street, dropping him off to work I was making a right turn, and a Ford F-150 making a left turn, jumped 3 lanes and hit me head on, to totaling my car and knocking my kids out of their car seats, throwing their father through the windshield. I stayed at his house about a week, recovering, I called the only family member that I have in Va, my grandmother who I was staying with to asks if she would come and get me because the insurance to this day still Hs not come through, and she told me she absolutely could not because “she doesn’t drive through tunnels”. I WAS Stranded, it was thanksgiving weekend by this point and I had been there a week. Fighting with him 98% of the time because I did not want to have sex or even be around him. The day after thanksgiving, he approached me again about sex and I said no, he started fighting me, I tried to call police and broke my iPhone, tablet, and computer. Knowing I didn’t want to leave my kids there by themselves with him, know my I had no phone, no family, and no hope, I had sex with him just thinking things would die down and he would leave me alone. I begged him not to ejaculate in me, but of course he did not respect my wishes. (How I am pregnant now). I ended up failing in my last month of the semester although I was a straight A student up until then. I was not able to replace my phone as I had stoped working to go to nursing school and did not have $250, until January, as soon as I replace my phone, I paid Lyft $200 to take me back to grandmothers hope not that the worst was over. But as soon as got there she had packed up ALL of me and my children’s things and put them in the shed and told me she was getting married to a man at her church whose wife of 48 years died in Oct and that my kids and I had to find somewhere to go. Knowing I had not worked since September, had spent all of my money on cars and school, and had NO WHERE to go. So I let my kids go stay with their Dad since he was the only one with a place and I stayed out side basically. I called homeless shelters, social services, safe havens, all to no avail. So I stayed with him until the last week in February when I got an income tax for my kids, the day I got the check, I bought a car, because no one would let me have a place to live without a steady income, so I knew my kids would need transportation anyway for doctors appoints and things like that. Fast forward to April, I found out that I was pregnant, so I immediately started apply to jobs (I’m a CNA also), Out of the 50 jobs I applied to, 1 called me back, and it’s only a part time position. I started my job 4/30/18 at 20+ weeks pregnant, not having done CNA work in 2 years. I got to the job and realized why they were hiring, because it’s HORRIBLE, they are understaffed, just last week my doctor took me out of work because the week before I was having 23+ patients at a time. I am still trying to stick with it though because I have to have some sort of income. I am due 8/17, and have been looking for a place, but everywhere is 675+ (not including utilities) a month and 675 if for a one bedroom. And they want you to make 3 times the rent in order to qualify, I make maybe $500 every 2 weeks. And I still have to buy ALL of my baby’s stuff, like a bassinet, and clothes, and bottles, and a diaper bag, and he says he will not help me but anything for the baby. The section8 waiting list is closed indefinitely in VA and there is a 3 year waiting list for public housing. I called Samaritan house and they gave me a smoked out hotel room for a week and said that’s all they could do. But I slept in the parking lot in my car because the smell was sooo bad with me being pregnant that I couldn’t bare. I watch my kids and drive around or find things to do ALL day while he works 7-2, and then I take them to his house so they don’t have to sleep in the car, mind you it’s only one bedroom and him and his roommate smoke weed all the time. I work 6p-12am and bust my behind ALL 6 hours. I just got approved for another position on the other to pick up more hours, but I have sciatica and pelvic symphasis pain and I really don’t know how much longer I can walk 0.4 mile long hallways and lift people into bed all night. Especially when I’m clocking out to sleep in the car. I have never complained, but guys I’m honestly so overwhelmed that I feel like jumping off of bridge. Please tell me there’s hope 😥 p.s- anytime we are around each other, even in passing, he finds a way to start an argument and put his hands on me, even pregnant. I actually thought I would go into labor yesterday. Oh and yes I have tried to put him on child support, for one I put a order in as soon as moved back to my hometown and got an address and I just called today and it’s still “processing” they say, it’s been 2years, because I was pregnant with my 20 month old when I filed. And I have called other DSS, and they say I can’t file anywhere else or transfer it until I get a address. So my best bet is to just wait for the one I already pitin to go through. My baby won’t stop moving because I know he’s uncomfortable being in this car, but I don’t mind him moving because at least he’s alive. And yes, he’s been arrested 6-8 times and let out within 48 hrs, they keep giving him anger management classes and “good-behavior”, bit do nothing when he breaks his terms.. I am just so lost..